So the other day I was driving out to East Jesus (New Richmond) from my office. This is a drive that I have made many times, however, I never fail to see something that amazes me from a dumb butt Ohio driver. That day it came from Goober Guy who clearly knew how to drive (sarcasm, in case you didn't catch that). I believe it was around the Milford area when I was lucky enough to get behind the best driver in the world.
I happen to be one of those people who are completely and utterly irked by the idea that someone would leave their turn signal on for two seconds past the time they get over or turn. So, Goober gets in front of me in the fast lane and drives for a good 3 miles with his left blinker on. At this point I am trying to remind myself to breathe and not yell profanity that he wouldn't be able to hear anyway. But then, just as I think all might be well in this left light blinking world, Goober makes the ultimate in dumb-butt move- he gets over to the outer right lane. You guessed it, he still had the left blinker on. As I get to where I look out of my window and can see him, I realize the problem. I will give you one guess as to what he was doing. (No, not that, get your head out of the gutter.) Goober Guy was on his CELL PHONE. I mean, I talk on my cell phone while driving, but that is because I can still manage to keep up with the task of driving while doing so. This man clearly couldn't multi-task. Then again, what man can?
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